I haven't posted a journal in a few months so heres what is going down with me as of late.
I can't remember if I mentioned it here or not but I was denied disability and medicaid after my court hearing about it. Basically, my age, my shitty doctor saying "I don't know whats wrong with her so shes fine.", and me slipping up and said I had gone on vacation screwed me over. I'm pretty sure even if I had lied and said I hadn't been on vacation lately, I would have been denied anyways.
I really don't want to reapply because its just emotionally draining and I'm pretty sure that they'll never accept my case but I'm probably going to anyways, just so my dad can claim me as a dependant on his taxes or whatever.
My health has been so-so lately. Nothing terrible but nothing great either. It would probably be better if it weren't so hot out.
The air conditioner in my house broke down last summer so we've been having to deal with 100+ degree temperatures without any real relief. I took my dad out to eat three days in a row just so I could get out of the hotbox house for a few hours. However, my boyfriend bought me and my dad a portable air conditioner. It's helping a lot. At least one room is livable now!
On Sunday, we had to put my old dog to sleep. She was 16 years old and her back legs had gone out. She could stand and move around a bit if we got her up on her feet but that was about it. She didn't wanna eat or drink much so it was time. It's so weird because this is the first time in my life I haven't had a dog around. It's just me, my dad and our two ferrets now. Oh and my overwhelming collection of plush toys but they might not count.
Some good news though, my dad finally went back to work this week after being unemployed for almost 2 and a half years. He is also immediatly getting overtime as well. This will help us catch up a lot. We've been basically living off the charity of my friends and my dad's best friend since the beginning of the year as we have had 0 income. My dad tried to apply for schooling-for-unemployment type of thing so he could at least get a few more months of unemployment money, but he got screwed over. I don't really know of the details but basically his case worker or whatever took too long to do anything so we got punished for it. Owns.
As for other going ons, my boyfriend got me a 3DS at launch. I don't have it updated or connected to the internet yet (trying to keep it at its launch firmware so its easier to mod/pirate later) so no friend codes for people, sorry. I only have Nintendogs for it right now but I really want OoT 3DS! Hopefully I can get that this month.
I finished Pokemon White quite a while ago. I kind of want to battle some folk, whether it's gen 4 or gen 5 games. If you wanna battle me, hit me up on IM or over twitter or something.
Been trying to draw a bit more lately, making new characters as well, but I'm posting most of my stuff to my tumblr as its mostly sketches and doodles. Here is a link to my art tag. Warning, some NSFW doodles there.
Um that's about it I guess! If you have anything to ask, go ahead.
not surprised, just sucks.
my shitty doctor fucked me over mostly. that and me being truthful and saying i went on vacation lol.
looks like i gotta go to a mental health clinic and claim im crazy for it i guess!!
got 60 days to appeal.
uh i think my lj paid account is running out soon. not sure if ill get another one, i use twitter and tumblr a lot more now. i just dont have a lot to say most of the time.
trying to get back into drawing. what a scrub hobby
oh and um if anyone here has my cell number, dont call it or text it. my service got cut off for now because we havent had money to pay the bill lol
dont even know why i have a cell phone. i dont use it. talking on da phone SUX
my disability court date is coming up in a few weeks oh man oh man hope i get a big fat check so then i can buy all the day pornos
but now my steam account is disabled for whatever fucking reason. didn't even send me an email why. so its either because.
1. someone tried to hijack my shit
2. theyre pissy because i logged into my boyfriends computer a few weeks back. which is stupid because they have STEAM CLOUD just for this reason.
i sent steam support a trouble ticket about it so i hope this gets fixed. this is retarded.
they suspended me because they thought i was harassing my friend when i was just joking with her
she had an art thread up in the forums, so i told her if she “doesnt draw pregnant vegeta shes a pub scrub nub”.
and i left a comment on her profile saying “shut up, bitch”
both are inside jokes (more so the last one).
oddly enough, they deleted my thread post, but not the comment i left on her profile, which is more offensive, unless someone really doesnt like being called a scrub lmao
its only a two day suspension so its not so bad. i sent them a clarification via their contact form though.
Last few days have blown ass, for lack of better words.
Yesterday (well I guess two days ago now at the time of writing this), a close family friend of ours died. A week before, she had an accident and hit her head really hard on some concrete. She had a really bad concussion with some hemorrhaging. The day I visited her she was doing okay. I mean she was still in a lot of pain and such but she wasn't talking gibberish like she was the day before. The day after I visited the gibberish speak came back and she couldn't eat or walk at all. After that apparently she stopped breathing so she was put on a respirator. Later on she became brain dead and had the plug pulled on her when they determined none of her organs could be donated. Apparently she threw a major blood cot in either her heart or lungs which caused her to stop breathing. Honestly, it could have been anything, she wasn't exactly healthy to begin with. She's been diabetic since she was 12 and had breast cancer at 20 (I think she was around 60ish).
Honestly she was closer to me and my dad than our actual family is so that was really hard on us. I think one of the most depressing parts of this was, not only was it so close to Christmas, but apparently she died on the day or day before of her and her husband's anniversary. Deserving-of is an unmeasurable human concept whereas luck is an abstract concept, so I don't know what to call this except for heart-breaking.
Then we have the issue of me and my dad having zero-income for at least three months because 1. My dads been laid off for almost two years now and the unemployment agency decided to screw him over; and 2. I am currently not getting any disability income and my court date is not until mid-February of next year. We haven't been able to make a house payment in almost three months and you know what that means, funny foreclosure joke. Fortunately, my dad was finally able to sell his motorcycle today (for less than he wanted but beggars can't be choosers) and we were able to get caught up on the house payments. We're still not in a very good situation but it's a bit out of the shit-lake right now.
I also haven't been feeling super well lately. I keep getting low grade fevers out of no where. I guess it's just a symptom of my autoimmune disorder. Then I keep having the random wake-up-and-I-can't-fucking-pee or I-really-have-to-strain-to-pee issue that I get sometimes. I don't know if its attributed to stress/anxiety or its also just some random ass symptom of whatever I have but it's really annoying and I would like it to stop thank you. Also of course the usual stomach/gut issues but I think most of that will go away once I take a big shit and get de-stressed. Should probably cut down on the fast food too because that probably doesn't help but I get such bad cravings for chicken nuggets you have no idea.
I was able to go shopping for some clothes and other stuff for my trip to England at least. I still need to try to see my lawyer before I go to at least drop off some packet of forms. I need to talk to a doctor to renew a prescription too but I don't think that's going to happen because I am so goddamn awful with phone calls. In before my dad makes the calls for me and gets mad at me for being a big baby over a goddamn phone call. No dad, I know they are not going to crawl through the phone and kick my ass, but saying that doesn't make my irrational fear of it go away!! Put a spider on a phone floating in the middle of a deep pool of water and tell me the make a phone call and watch how hard I'll cry. HELLO I AM PATHETIC.
Anyways I do hope my dad calls (lmfao) my doctor and that my doctor will just renew the prescription over the phone so I don't have to see him because I don't think he can fit me in within 2 days especially on X-mas hurr. If not, oh well I guess, it's just prednisone. I am supposed to be taking it however at the same time I really cannot be taking it on a constant basis because it will basically fucking give me diabetes, which I am prone to in the first place! I have a few pills of it left over so I can take it when I feel I need to. At least I have plenty of painkillers euhehe.
In better news, I'll be leaving for England early morning on the 26th and will be there till the 17th. I didn't get to go last year like I usually do and also missed out on my birthday trip up to Washington for PAINFURREST (yes I am still pissed off at that) due to being so wiped out after being in the hospital and getting chemotherapy. My dad is still nervous about me going because this time because I am not exactly in tip-top shape but lets be honest, I am not going to be feeling great until I get proper treatment, which I won't get until I get a proper diagnosis from a proper doctor. Hasn't happened yet folks!
Once again I'll most likely be restricting my IM contacts to my 'secret' alt MSN and AIM accounts like I usually do, so if you don't have those and wish to contact me, send me a PM and I'll probably share it with you. I -might- be on skype or I might be using my boyfriend's skype account, I'm not sure yet. I'll be on one or the other for sure because that's what I'll be using to talk to my dad with (overseas phone calling is too expensive and e-mail is mad gay).
If you live in England and would really seriously like to try to meet up with me, drop me a note or something and I might try to arrange some kind of meet up -if I am healthy enough-. If you are not serious about it and are most likely gonna flake out at the last second, then do not waste my time like the last few times I tried to do this :)! I'm at least going to try to take a day trip or something up to London so if you're there, let's bro-fist.
Um that's about it I guess!
Merry Christmas ya wieners.
P.S. For those who keep asking what I'd like for Christmas and would like to do something for me, then send some money to my paypal! I'd really appreciate it especially right now so I can at least try to get some gifts and such while I am over in England, and have a little bit of money when I get home in case I come home to a fucked up situation of some sort (very possible). My paypal addy is email@example.com. Thank you :>
Note to Commissioners: I apologize profusely for being so slow with artwork right now. As I mentioned before, I haven't been feeling quite right lately (I actually had another month long sick-fit around October where I was just puking constantly) and right now all I've been putting out is really quick doodles that aren't up to par to with my regular work and I refuse to half-ass my commission work to 'just get it done'. This has never been my policy. Once I come back from my vacation, I will attempt to get back on track with my commissions or, alternatively, if I'm still not well enough to work on anything, start attempting to issue refunds. I hope everyone understands. If you have any questions or concerns about this, feel free to note me.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner.
Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now.
Day Ten: One confession
I will do this all in one go because I will not be here in 10 days time so.
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[10:44:24 AM] Lune (º✖º): this familys pet died
[10:44:26 AM] Lune (º✖º): i think a dog
[10:44:30 AM] Lune (º✖º): and they somehow put the dogs soul
[10:44:33 AM] Lune (º✖º): into this human head
[10:44:36 AM] Lune (º✖º): except it was just
[10:44:39 AM] Lune (º✖º): a decapitated human head
[10:44:43 AM] Lune (º✖º): with some of the lower jaw missing
[10:44:45 AM] Auwa: ew
[10:44:46 AM] Lune (º✖º): and it was talking
[10:44:54 AM] Lune (º✖º): and it somehow ended up in my fucking bathroom
[10:44:59 AM] Lune (º✖º): and i flushed it down the toilet
[10:45:05 AM] Auwa: lmfao